Brothers

As I sit here at almost 1 in the morning, looking ahead at an assignment, I am supposed to reflect upon significant events in my life. I am reminded tonight of the pain of losing my brother Clint Melton. Ok, so he wasn't really my brother but he was the closest thing that I ever had. We had a bond despite our differences that was deep...the many times playing billiards anytime I came into town, the meals we shared (lots of them), the funeral I performed...all of these memories flood through my head and I just miss my friend. I miss my brother. I also ponder what makes these connections so powerful and yet so elusive until more cannot be made. Then they finally REALLY connect. Why does it take an untimely death to create a sense of longing to see someone you deeply care about? Why do we take those connections for granted? I have been reading Hindsight: the promise and peril of looking backward by Mark Freeman for this class and I loved the quote "there is ample room in the human condition for honoring both the power of now and the power of hindsight." (get it here) No matter the reality you live in, you can always recall those connections and live them again, learn from them again, experience them again (albeit alone) and recognize the power they carry to affect change in your life. I chose to use the money his mom and dad gave me for doing the funeral (I did it for free but they insisted) to install a new Pioneer system in my truck. At first glance, that may seem selfish until you know how many systems we installed together; the time spent upside down in the floorboard of vehicles fiddling with wiring and connections sweating in the summertime heat and the satisfaction of listening to the rumble coming from the subs; the highs emanating from the tweets as we fired up Nate Dogg and Warren G (don't judge) for the first time after powering everything up. It seemed a fitting memorial. The dichotomy of lived experience and knowing I won't have them again is painful but I remember my brother every time I turn on my truck and the system kicks on. Here's to you Clint...miss ya bro.